funny quotes and sayings
And if you are looking for the more humorous quotes and sayings then you can leave a comment to tell us about which topic the funny quotes you like the most? “I thought you liked it.” “I do like it,” he said.

The people are fucked” Thank you for sharing. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. First of all, we have short funny quotes about life and sayings, because short funny quotes about life and hilarious sayings are the ones that can easily be told and shared with friends anywhere.

Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

If you’re enjoying this list of the funniest quotes of all time, you’ll also enjoy the funniest movies of all time. Monogamy is the same.” —Anonymous, Following an argument, an angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”, When Mick Jagger insisted that his wrinkles were actually laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly replied, “Surely nothing could be that funny.”, A sports columnist recalled the story of a flight attendant who asked Muhammad Ali to fasten his seat belt. Barrymore, I am never going to act with you again.” Barrymore replied, “My dear, you still haven’t.”, Director/writer Kevin Smith told Tim Burton that Burton’s Planet of the Apes reminded him of a comic book he’d written. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. I wish I could do that with people.”, everyday funny quotes and amazingly awesome quotes, #12. If you don’t like me, remember its mind over matter. 1. Well, they think it was a virus, but it could also be malaria, kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.” —Crystal Lowery, “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon. “I was startled by a loud fart. Sharing is caring! In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. You may discover fascinating of them to inspirational words of encouragement to lift you up. “I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out!”, 67.

Looking for the best funny memes and quotes words. Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. That’s why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

If you’re looking for some very interesting short funny quotes on love and relationships. “That awkward moment when you take a shower in the middle of the day and you’re not sure if you should put on normal clothes or pyjamas.”, 59. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. The links are given in the post. She is an American comedian, writer, television host, actress and producer.

“During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. The pina and the colada. “If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart…”, 9.

J. O’Rourke, still a writer, “I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.” —Lee Grant, actress, “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.” —Cher, “The difference between fiction and reality? It was practically comical. As we gathered a huge list of funny quotations so divided those in two categories. Haiku sounds like I’m Saying hi to someone named Ku. Every day, I’m like, ‘Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella?
But in the end, you will thank them both.”, #9.

I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Here are 35 best funny quotes and sayings that will laugh at your face “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. Never. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. “No! I really don’t think I need buns of steel. C. Fields (attributed), “I wish I had the confidence of the woman who boldly admits she’s the Miranda of her crew.” —Jessica Biel, actress, “Want to know what God thinks of money? Here is the collection of the most popular short funny sayings and hilarious quotes about life by famous people.

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